


Regret

by sayuizuru



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Gen, some comfort fluff, spoilers for the north american branch attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:48:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25839091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sayuizuru/pseuds/sayuizuru
Summary: The recent attack from the noahs took more from them than just the North American Branch. The damage was far bigger than anyone could comprehend- a sense of distrust blooming into every level of the Order, bound to destroy the organization from within.Even knowing that, Link couldn’t help but think about his family - think about what he’d lost and how this has affected him.
Relationships: Howard Link/Reader





	Regret

**Author's Note:**

> Some comfort stuff because I'm suddenly reminded of Link being snapped out of that meeting after the attack and baby looked like he hadn't slept in days poor child ; - ;

The once lively, once occupied room stood at a standstill; and with it, so did the man that once occupied one of the beds. The man stared at nothing in particular and yet... his eyes roamed- seemingly looking at everything all at once. 

A contradictions in its own rights.

An occurrence that shouldn't have been possible.

Just like that fateful day - a couple days backwards - when he'd lost.... 

**Everything.**

He never had any regrets before - all that he did was, afterall, on his loyalty to his superiors. On his loyalty to the Order. His loyalty.. to his family. But in that moment, as his dark eyes landed on his companion's unmade bed, all he wanted to do was turn back time.

To that day.

Maybe even to the days before that.

How far back could he go to prevent this, he wondered. Mulled the faithful day he'd decided to become a doll for the Order; a CROW, trained to fight and restrain and _kill_ if he had to. Trained to do... To do things... Unspeakable things that couldn't fall to the common people's ear lest he wanted to be scorned.

If he closed his eyes, he could just about - _just about_ \- hear the laughter of his family. His small family of six; all very different from one another but all he loved as if they were blood. He'd done what he could for his family - to survive, to protect, to live.....His family.

**His family.**

_**Was nowhere to be found now.** _

Now, when Howard Link closes his eyes - whether that be for a moment or as he waited for sleep to claim him, all he could see was the image of his sister.

His sister, with tears in her eyes and prayers on her lips - not a prayer to the gods, no. More a plea. A plea to _**her family**_. To not be left alone. To not be left behind. Even as she sank into the portal beneath her feet, the words fell from her tongue in a chant - broken and repetitive; she unaware of the state of her reality.

and just as Allen felt he was too slow in saving Tokusa -

_**"I wish you'd trusted me more, Link,"** _

\- Link felt the same with Tewaku.

For someone who'd train his body and reflexes for over a decade, his legs were far too slow in the most crucial moments. His fingers brushing against the skin of her flesh just seconds - milliseconds - before she disappeared.

Tewaku slipped through his grace; and so did the rest of his brothers.

And Tokusa - _**god**_ \- Poor, poor **Tokusa**. He was always a fighter, stubborn to a fault but he had good heart. He'd seen them - Walker. Doing god knows what to his brother. but the boy was absolutely heartbroken once Tokusa was taken away - him breaking down amidst all the bindings the inspector has placed on him.

His legs weak, Link sat on Allen's bed; his eyes growing weary as his mind continued to wander.

Had he spoiled the one chance they had at saving the Third...? Had he trusted his companion more, given him a little more time, would his brother still be here? Grumpy and injured and most probably with his pride in shambles - but he'd be _here._... 

**Right?**

He couldn't remember what Tokusa's voice sounded like anymore - the memory of his past self warped and replaced with the morbid screams of what he'd... become. Tokusa didn't laugh - didn't truly laugh - as much as the others did but he had a beautiful laugh, that much Link was sure.

He could still hear snatches of it in his sleep - Tokusa’s laughter echoing from everywhere and nowhere. As if mocking him. Torturing him... and for what? He didn’t know.

Would he be able to hear it anymore? Assuming the Earl hadn't already made them his plaything? Assuming there was a mission to rescue the _stolen_ Thirds?

Would he be able to hear it now? If he had trusted the boy branded as a possible traitor more? One who was apparently helping his brother instead of causing needless pain?

So deep in his thoughts he was that the blond didn't hear the creak of the door nor did he notice the head of (h/c) tentatively peeking into the room.

The sound of their voice pulled him away from his thoughts first - the syllables of his name falling from their lips as they stepped inside the room. Soft. Gentle. As if the wrong intonation would break him.

He wasn't made of glass - Howard Link was **anything** but a fragile man - but at this moment, he had to question if that was true.

Because Howard Link, while not fragile, certainly felt like crying.

His eyes closed for a second before they fluttered to the side, where his partner stood with their back against the wooden door. The warmth of their gaze and the nervous yet comforting smile on their lips made him bite the inside of his cheek, his eyes pricking painfully as an unfamiliar sensation raged through his system.

He hadn't noticed them stepping closer, only taking note of their presence when his hands were taken from his lap, enveloped in the warmth of their skin as they caressed the back of his hand. Comforting (e/c) eyes met his sleep-deprived ones, the first trail of tears that made its way own his cheek interrupted by the warm hand of his partner.

They smiled gently, pushing his bangs aside and over his ear - futile really, as they just fell back into place but the action was,,,, comforting. They stared at him a moment longer before their lips parted - three simple words falling from their tongue that made his chest ache and his vision blur and his breath still.

_"Are you alright..?"_

Three... simple words.

Link felt his throat constrict, his eyes stinging painfully as tears continued to fall from them. His head bowed, the blond tightened his grip on his partner’s hand. Weakly pulling them closer, closing the space between them, until finally he could feel the warmth of their embrace.


End file.
